It seems to be universal that kids’ behaviour in schools is getting worse. Not only in schools it seems.  Newspaper reports highlight cases of people being driven to their deaths by the behaviour of thuggish kids in their neighbourhoods.

There have been a number of  appalling cases and one where a mother killed herself and her child.  She’d been driven to despair by the behaviour of kids. In a further case a house was set on fire by a firework and a mother died after ensuring her son’s safety.

Are the newspapers sensationalising the events?   Even if they are, the fact remains that innocent people are dead, driven beyond their endurance by the actions of others and the lack of protection by the authorities.

Some media reports claim to ‘debunk the myth’ of worsening behaviour in schools in recent years.   They claim that only 2% of schools have unsatisfactory levels of behaviour!   Hard to believe!!

Unsurprisingly, there seems to be a conflict of opinion on this subject.   There are those claiming thugs are creating a culture of fear and despair resulting in death against those claiming that behaviour has improved in schools.

It’s recently been claimed that 70% of teachers want to leave their jobs due to the appalling behaviour they encounter on a daily basis.

In contrast the official slant is that a small number of pupils cause problems but of acts of violence are rare.   Wow, let’s all be thankful for that, eh?

Another official report claims there is a lack of evidence suggesting there is any more violence in schools than in the past and that most children’s behaviour in schools is good and getting better.

The contradictions appear to between between the people who I always call those at the ‘sharp end’  – the teachers – and  those sitting in a comfortable office shuffling papers around all day.

One has to ask if the officials have a vested interest in promoting the idea that behaviour in schools is improving.  They seem to be the same people who insist that exams aren’t getting any easier…  That’s also hard to believe!!

I suspect a large number of people would find the idea of improving behaviour to be ridiculous!  Locally there has been an increase in numbers of exclusions, including much younger children.  And what do kids generally get excluded for?  What else but bad behaviour?

So, what’s changed?

Some people claim children have changed… Can that be true? Well, if their behaviour is worse then I suppose you could say they may have changed. But children simply haven’t had time to evolve and change so much.

But what has changed though is adults’ attitude towards children.

Many adults don’t know how to effectively discipline or manage children’s behaviour.   Some adults don’t even believe they have the responsibility or right to do so.  They tolerate  increasingly unacceptable behaviour and don’t know what to do to change things.   They have no idea what they’re ‘allowed’ to do.

Bad behaviour is increasingly being accepted as normal and that’s so damaging for children and very stressful for adults.

Many adults say they are frightened, thinking they’re not ‘allowed’ to discipline or correct children’s behaviour. If they only realised it, teachers already have a wide range of powers to manage pupil behaviour in and out of the classroom.

But, even though they have the right to discipline children, what’s the use of these rights if teachers don’t know how to manage children’s behaviour?

A further  complication is the lack of appropriate consequences for bad behaviour.

Oh dear, that last sentence is full of politically correct jargon!  The education system is full of such idiotic language. That’s pretty  much the same in most areas of modern life.  Messages that are soft on truth and full of euphemisms!

What should the sentence say?

Forget the ‘lack of appropriate consequences for bad behaviour’…   Bad behaviour should be punished… Now that really is controversial!

Maybe if there was punishment for bad behaviour then the situation would actually improve, and families could live with peace of mind, without being tormented by thugs.  If behaviour is unacceptable there should be punishment inflicted that reinforces the message that the behaviour is unacceptable and shouldn’t be repeated.   What a change from making endless excuses nothing being done about appalling behaviour.

Things can change…  You can learn how to manage children’s behaviour and it really isn’t difficult.   There are basic rules to successful behaviour management and when you know these, practise them and then use them consistently you’ll see improvements.

Believe that you can do it. We owe it to kids.  Download your copy of Behaviour Bible and access the behaviour management strategies that I use every day with great success…

Cheers for now, Liz Marsden @ Behaviour Bible

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A deputy head teacher who just happened to state the obvious that’s staring everyone in the face has massively ‘offended’ her school – not that she was actually criticising them…  They have made her work from home until they decide what action to take against her…

So what exactly has she done that’s so offensive?

She revealed how bad behaviour and lack of discipline in schools ‘blinded by Leftist ideology’ has stopped staff from teaching children.    She cited her 10 years’ experience in schools.   She claimed that the education system is broken and lack of discipline and low standards of behaviour are keeping ‘poor children poor’.

So is she right?

Well, recent articles suggest that 70% of teachers have wanted to escape their jobs and cite children’s bad behaviour as the reason.

So, she’s probably right about behaviour…

A further article suggests that 1 in 6 primary age children transfer to senior school with below acceptable levels of literacy and numeracy.  It also suggests that almost 100,000 children achieved worse results in maths and English at the end of their primary years than in comparable tests taken at the age of seven.  This suggests that large numbers of pupils are  left to coast along in their primary schools.

That makes her right about academic standards too…

Are these children unable to learn?  Absolutely not.  They are simply uneducated, not unintelligent.  As with children’s behaviour, nobody seems too bothered about addressing the issues.  Can’t be bothered or simply can’t – either way children’s academic and social education is being neglected.

It’s not to do with lack of money either.  It’s to do with the will of adults.  They need to stop making excuses for their appalling record in managing kids both educationally and behaviourally.  Until adults accept that they are responsible for children’s behaviour then the sorry cycle of disruption and lack of education is going to continue unstopped.

And the fact that someone has the guts to stand up and tell the truth about it all should be applauded.  But what happens in this mixed up and corrupt world?  She gets punished…

Then we wonder why kids are so out of control…  If it wasn’t such a serious issue it would be hilarious…

Managing kids’ behaviour isn’t difficult.  And when you’ve got the behaviour problems sussed then you can really get somewhere with the learning.  Until kids are behaving well, it doesn’t matter what you do, they can’t learn…  And not just the badly behaved kids who lose out on their education.  Their bad behaviour impacts on all the others too…

If you want to know how to manage behaviour well, download Behaviour Bible and you’ll have all the tips and strategies that you need to get your classroom management into the learning zone.

Cheers for now.  Liz Marsden @ Behaviour Bible.

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I  had an interesting chat with a visitor to my classes today.  He’s the person I asked to watch for anything I do in my class to manage kids’ behaviour that couldn’t be emulated in mainstream schools – click to read.

He was telling me that as a result of his experiences in my classes he was now more confident about addressing issues he meets when he returns to work in the mainstream school.  Great, as that’s what’s it’s all about – having the confidence to pick up on low level behaviour that has the potential to lead to ‘bad behaviour’ if nobody steps in to check the child’s actions and puts them on the right path.

An interesting comment from this visitor was one that I’ve heard many times when I’ve been talking to people in schools.  It was that he didn’t previously feel comfortable addressing what he rightly perceived to be unacceptable behaviour from someone else’s kids.

This is a very common feeling in society today.  Years ago, when you were a kid, you’d know that if you misbehaved in the street or elsewhere and your parents weren’t around, then the local policeman, a neighbour or someone else’s parents would step in and put you right.  And if you gave them cheek or bad manners as a result of their intervention then your parents would be told and you’d for for the high jump when you got home.  The speed with which such news travelled to your home always amazed me.

It’s a design fault in kids that they get into trouble.  Not necessarily serious trouble but causing annoyance, being a bit cheeky, making too much noise or other low level behaviours….

And what happens if adults don’t interevene and do something about it?

We get the thuggery and crime that prevails in most towns and villages today.  Where people are afraid of the consequences of intervening when kids are behaving badly.  Where old people or disabled people live in fear.  The situations people find themselves in because of thugs and yobs must be totally horrendous and terrifying.

In our local paper today it’s reported that a youth club has been forced to close due to the intimidation and yobbish behaviour of 13 and 14 year old kids who are out on the streets with nobody willing to control their behaviour.

When society does  nothing about such appalling acts of yobbish behaviour they may as well write a charter to condone it as normal.  Because that is what it has become….

So back to my visitor and his discomfort in addressing unacceptable behaviour from other people’s children in school.  It’s every adults duty and responsibility to do so.  In school adults are in loco parentis – they are the children’s parents whilst they are attending school.

What’s the alternative?  Well, it’s quite simple.  If every adult isn’t prepared to address the low levelunacceptable behaviours that have the potential to get worse if not acted on then kids soon realise you’ve decided you’re helpless to act.  You’re in trouble.

And that’s where so many schools and society in general are in present times…  In deep, deep trouble.

Addressing potentially bad behaviour isn’t difficult, in fact it’s surprisingly easy.   Download your copy of Behaviour Bible and you’ll have all the strategies that I use successfully every day to address the most challenging behaviour.

Cheers for now.  Liz Marsden @ Behaviour Bible.

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More about my little guy who tried it on and refused to write in his reading record book…  To update yourself on his story the first part is here and if you want the next bit follow this link…

I asked a the end of part 1 if he would try the same tactics again and reckoned that he probably would but to a lesser degree…  Was I right?  Yes I was…

So, what happened?

The first incident that I described happened on a Friday, his second day in my class.  The second was on the following Monday.  I feel sorry for little kids like this.  They behave badly because they’ve been allowed to be that way.  But as well as the behaviour issues, these kids haven’t been expected to develop any real levels of concentration or any expectation to make any effort with their class work.

They’ve objected because something hasn’t suited them, probably in a pretty half hearted sort of way initially, nobody has done much about it and so they’ve continued on their merry little way.  They’ve refused and kicked off with increasing degrees of violence simply to get out of work and to get their own way.  It’s tragic and inexcusable… But who can blame a kid for this?  No way… This is down to the adults being totally spineless and feckless…

Anyway back to our mini sized tyrant.  Day 3…. (remember day 1 was fine and day 2 he started his antics…)

This time it was reading that he didn’t want to do…  Can’t blame him really…  Well if you’d spend 3 years being ‘educated’ and nobody had really noticed or bothered that you hadn’t picked up the basics of the most essential part of your education that stopped you doing pretty much anything else in the classroom you’d be fed up too wouldn’t you???

Anyway the head went down, refusing and kicking the underside of his desk.  So, same tactics from me…  I didn’t allow it to escalate or allow the adrenalin to surge.  I took his arm and out we went again, told him what was expected from him otherwise he’d be losing breaks and other enjoyable activities to make up the time he was wasting at present.

What did he do?  Well, far less than the time before.  He shouted and hollered for a couple of minutes, put his head down, had a little cry and then decided to read his book.

What do I do when they start to conform?  I go back to normal immediately…  I call it normalisation… The child has to know things are fine and you’re fine with them.  If he had to make some time up then he has to know.  In this case he owed me 5 minutes and he accepted this fine.   Then we went back to class and he was great for the rest of the day.

The next day…  He tried to refuse but this time I used my assertive voice (not shouting) telling him that if I had to take him from class he would definitely be losing his break and possibly his PE lesson, depending on how much time he wasted.  But if he wasn’t ready to start reading by the time I counted to 3 then his morning break time was gone.

Because he now recognised that I mean what I say he was ready to read by the time I’d counted to 2.  He said sorry and off we went – doing his little best for me…  Once or twice since then he’s tried delaying and avoiding tactics but he knows I’m wise to him and it’s getting less and less.  And he’s getting more and more relaxed and happy…

Not a bad result!  A couple of fairly minor incidents from a little guy who has been totally out of control for most of his school life…  And now he’s well on the road to doing well….

If you want to know more about how and why my behaviour management strategies work so well then download your copy of Behaviour Bible and follow the same advice that I use every day with these ‘out of control’ kids…

More later.  Liz Marsden @ Behaviour Bible…

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I suppose I’m exaggerating a little but really there’s a lot of truth in this statement.  How did I decide on this theme?   As usual it was a chance comment from someone that set me thinking along these lines…

I was talking to my colleague at work. She goes to dog shows with her deer hound  and she’s won a lot of prizes – well the dog has!

Anyway, at a recent show the judge was nervous around the dog.  You know how they prod and poke at the dogs at all ends of their anatomy — some quite personal interaction! Well, this lady dithered — I’m assuming that you know what dithering means, or is it a word only known in England?   I don’t know. It means not being decisive, being unsure of what to do – non- assertive. With dogs it can lead to disaster.   The same applies when dealing with children.

My friend’s dog is the most easy going, friendly animal you could ever meet.  But, she read the judge’s ‘dithering’ behaviour.  So, what did the dog do?  She growled…  That’s totally unheard of behaviour in her relaxed, laid back world.  She didn’t snap or do anything really nasty, but she made it quite clear that she didn’t like this human’s approach.

What did the judge do? She retreated commenting, ‘Oh, she didn’t like that’, probably thinking that the dog was to blame.

What’s this dog story got to do with managing children’s behaviour?

Well, the same applies as with the dog… dither and you’re dead!  All right, not completely dead, but you get the meaning.  Dithering behaviour will certainly lead you on to shaky ground.  The dog at the show story reminded me of a vital lesson I learned about dithering – or the importance of not dithering – not long after I started working with children who had potentially extreme behaviour problems.

Back then, I didn’t deal with children’s behaviour as effectively as I do now.  I had an enormous amount still to learn. Jamie, a boy in my class was going through a really bad time and he was extremely unhappy.  Anyway, he’d been in trouble in class and had gone outside. He picked up a discarded skipping rope and as I watched he put the rope around his neck and pretended to pull it tight.

What did I do? In short, I dithered. I did nothing because I hadn’t a clue what to do. Luckily, another member of staff, far more experienced than I was at that time, took over. She purposefully walked over to Jamie, talking assertively, but not shouting, ‘Jamie, that’s really a very silly thing to do, let me take that away from you and make you safe.’ Not exactly what she said but pretty close.

What was Jamie’s response? He just let her take the rope… her confidence and decisiveness left him in no doubt that she was in control and he was happy to let her take control of the situation. She removed the rope and continued to talk in a brisk, matter of fact but kind and caring way. Something similar to, ‘Oh dear, Jamie, what on earth would happen if you got harmed? You’re so important to your class — they’d all miss you terribly if you weren’t there. Come with me there’s a good lad.’ That was it, sorted!

I’m not saying that this solution is correct in all situations if you have a child threatening to harm themselves. Every situation is different and individual.  What you do is dependent on your relationship with the child, the point of intervention and other circumstances.

What I am saying is that when dealing with children – or dogs – you have to learn to be decisive, in control, and be someone they can trust to keep them safe and secure. Children’s behaviour must be managed in such a way that ensures they can feel like this. It takes knowledge of behaviour management techniques so you have confidence to be able to manage  – and even better, prevent – challenging behaviour.

It’s really not difficult — read and learn about the strategies by downloading your copy of Behaviour Bible, practise them until they’re second nature and continue to use them consistently. Anyone can learn to manage children’s behaviour with confidence.  Learn not to be a ditherer!

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