Hi again. Welcome to another day in behaviourbible world….
FACT – teachers and adults in general are terrified to challenge children!!!
FACT – challenging children’s unaccepable behaviour is a major part of effective behaviour management and classroom control.
FACT – anybody can learn to confront in a way that won’t cause an escalation of the unacceptable behaviour…
I met a child who I’d reintegrated back into mainstream school today – in less than favourable circumstances. Let’s call him Billy. He’s been back in school for nearly a year, doing very well – a bright boy who, particularly in maths, is on track to achieve to a good level academically. Billy has been prescribed medication for an extremely doubtful diagnosis of ADHD. When diagnosed the consultant had been advised that Billy was doing extremely well at the PRU and had improved a great deal in school. This information was not taken into account and the diagnosis stood and the child given a high dose of Ritalin (or its equivalent).
Despite this, Billy continued to achieve well. So what was his problem? Billy is an anxious child. Many are by nature, but particularly when they have social and emotional difficulties – their lack of confidence in most areas of life accentuates a tendency towards anxiety and without effective intervention the child’s problems becomes more intense – very often leading to behaviour problems. Prior to his PRU referral, Billy had become very violent and aggressive, confronted every effort to manage his behaviour, and shut down emotionally and educationally.
What changed Billy? His behaviour had to be challenged but this had to be coupled with a great deal of encouragement and consistent use of effective behaviour management strategies. This was very effective and Billy became confident, relaxed and happy, hence the reintegration to mainstream school.
So what happened today?
I went to the school to see 2 other boys who are at present in my group. Both of them were doing brilliantly – working hard, smiling and keen to show me the very complimentary comments written by their teacher in their work books. As I left I called in at the head teacher’s office, and there was Billy. Admittedly he was sitting quietly and working, but nevertheless, not where he should be – in class. I looked questioningly at the head teacher who told me that Billy had decided he didn’t want to be in class – but he was prepared to work in her office! Well, good for him!! Talk about the tail wagging the dog!!
It was quite obvious that Billy’s behaviour wasn’t going to be challenged – unfortunately he was totally in control of the situation and the longer this was allowed to continue the harder it would be to remedy. I was told that Billy’s problem behaviour had ‘come from nowhere’ but this is seldom the case. There will have been signs that Billy’s behaviour was changing. You have to be particularly vigilant when a child has had previous problems. Watch for changes – they can be very slight, but prevention is far better (and easier) than cure. Once you’ve lost control of the situation a child is very happy to take over the role that should be well and truly in the hands of the adults.
What would I have done? I wouldn’t have allowed the situation to get to this point and used my well practised, proven behaviour management strategies to nip the behaviour in the bud.
So, what can they do now? Well, you can use a different form of challenge to confront unacceptable behaviour and to revert control to the adults. So, Billy wants to work in the head’s office? You have to have a plan. Tell the child’s parents what the problem is and what you intend to do. Always tell parents that you appreciate the child’s problems but to give their child a greater chance of future social and educational success steps must be taken to remedy a situation that, if left, will become extremely damaging. I am often told that parents are anti school, anti discipline, but approached positively there is a greater chance of parents of being supportive.
So, back to Billy. Tell him firmly that you’ve spoken to his parents and they fully support the school. Then tell him that if he decides to work in the head’s office, then for every 15 minutes he spends out of class, 5 minutes (more if you feel it’s appropriate) will be added to the end of his school day, during which time he will do handwriting practise. Another strategy would be to insist that as Billy has decided to work in the head’s office, then that’s where he’ll be for the foreseeable future, including break times - the adults have to take back control.
There have to be consequences for unacceptable behaviour and children have to realise this. Consequences must give a very firm reminder that the behaviour is unacceptable and shouldn’t be repeated. Unfortunately, to do this you have to be prepared to be inconvenienced. That’s a downside but when children realise that you mean what you say, a great deal of time is saved in the longer term. I see so much time wasted in schools when adults dither and waste energy by not carrying out consequences appropriately. The horse whisperer, Monty Roberts, has a great saying – ‘if you act as though you’ve only got 15 minutes it’ll take all day to sort; if you act as though you have all day and it’ll only take 15 minutes’. He’s absolutely right.
Children instinctively know that adults should be in control so don’t let them down by allowing them to dictate terms.
Bye for now. Liz Marsden @ Behaviourbible.