Hi again – welcome to Jimmy’s next instalment – he joins my class for the first time…
Well, I’ve met Jimmy and now we’ve broken up from school for the wonderful, long six weeks summer holiday. The last few days of term are hectic because builders are starting to build an extension on the KS2 room. Great in the long term, but to move all my accumulated junk and non-junk into boxes, and move them elsewhere is a nightmare. And to top it all we have to move into what can only be described as a large cupboard! I never particularly look forward to returning to work after the holidays but to return to this is … well, it’s going to be pretty uncomfortable.
I don’t like to have a waiting list for pupils to start in my class, but it may be this will have to happen for the first time. But, due to the size of the new ‘room’ the maximum number of children I can accommodate at one time is six. I know of PRUs catering for pupils with severe behaviour problems that have a maximum of four to six children in one class and if more than this are referred the schools have to wait until a pupil leaves before the new child can start. I have never worked in this way because if a school has a problem that results in a PRU referral then both the school and the pupil need help as soon as possible, even if the result is a class of ten or twelve. Experience has shown that schools, although having the best of intentions, tend to wait too long before making a referral, and further time lost leads to greater deterioration in the school/pupil relationship.
I’m fully aware of any new starter’s problems. After all they wouldn’t have been referred to me if they were angels, but I always consider that the behaviour demonstrated at mainstream school is the problem there and doesn’t have to be repeated in my class. Jimmy’s previous behaviour was horrendous – physical and verbal violence towards adults and children, refusal, absconding, defiance, kicking, spitting, throwing – a catalogue of behaviours to unnerve all but the very skilled and experienced behaviour specialist.
So how am I sure that this behaviour won’t be repeated in my class? Because I am confident that my behaviour management strategies, consistently used, will prevent the most determined child from behaving in an inappropriate way. That isn’t to say they won’t try, because that’s the way they’ve managed to get their own way, often for years. Their inappropriate behaviour has unfortunately become their norm – unpleasant, damaging and emotionally debilitating.
But, I am always vigilant, set my standards very high from the start, and act at the right time and in the right way to prevent any behaviour escalating into the level that the child has displayed previously. Jimmy is no exception. I will have a plan in my mind, to cover all the eventualities, and to ensure that I have control of the situation from the start.
So what’s the plan?
In the classroom, I will ensure that initially Jimmy sits close to me at the front of the class, away from the door. This is common sense as Jimmy has had the tendency to run from trouble – so I can’t allow him to sit close to the door. I’ve dealt with ‘runners’ before and used the same strategies (in conjunction with all my other well proven strategies) and have never had a child run from me. I’ve advised schools to work in the same way, but on visiting have seen the ‘problem child’ sitting close to the door, well away from the teacher, sometimes (on a hot day) with the door open!!! Common sense has flown out of the window as the child disappears through the door! Normally I allow children in my class to choose their place in class. It’s different from mainstream as there are different children in for each session, so set places tends not to work. The children understand, though, that if for any reason they are asked to sit in a particular place or move from one seat to another, they are expected to do so. Sometimes I may explain why, but often the request simply has to be obeyed. But, common sense and experience tells me that Jimmy must be close to me.
What else?
I make all other adults aware of Jimmy’s problems and ensure they are ready to correct and praise when they interact with him. This reinforces that expectations are identical whoever Jimmy’s dealing with. He won’t receive mixed messages, which is unfortunately often the case in schools. On many occasions children aren’t clear what is expected of them because adults are inconsistent. It’s a recipe for failure and confusion and just reinforces unacceptable behaviour. No improvements will be seen unless you are totally consistent!
I ensure work planned for Jimmy is within his capabilities. I want his confidence to grow, and to be able to work towards independence. Classroom layout and differentiation are essential behaviour management tools that can be implemented without the adults learning any further skills.
So, the day came and Jimmy was to start – how was it going to go? Who knows!! I knew I had every angle covered – if he did this, I would do that, etc. Experience kicked in and basically I was ready for anything. Here we go…
I hadn’t seen Jimmy since his visit prior to the summer holidays, and when he arrived in September I could barely suppress my feelings of pleasant amusement. There he was, as proud as punch in his new school uniform – sweat shirt, coat, bag. He told me he had a school hat as well but it wasn’t sunny so he’d left it at home. He looked a treat!!
Remember what I said about dealing with a new pupil – unless they give me reason to act differently, I am friendly, open, and welcoming – normal in other words – but with the obvious expectation that the child will do as I ask. I guess my confidence and energy is read by children and on the whole they simply conform. There will come a time when they will ‘try it on’ and that will have to be dealt with, but that time isn’t generally the instant they start in my class. That usually comes later when they feel more comfortable and established in the group.
Off to class we went and I told Jimmy to sit at the table at the front of the room and to put his coat on the back of the chair – we haven’t the luxury of coat hooks in our cupboard! He did so without question and sat down and waited quietly. When the other children arrived we had a chat about their holidays, what we were going to do that morning – I’d planned a gentle start to the day – our brains needed a gradual re-engagement of activity after a long break!! The first task was for all of us to go to the library to choose new books and then to sort out text books and mundane stuff – oh joy.
Before we went to the library I told the children what my expectations of the exercise were – to walk sensibly, hold doors for those behind, to be quiet so others who were working weren’t disturbed. I always emphasise that KS2 show the rest of the school how to behave and that people always comment on their good manners – all of which is true. The expectation by adults that good manners are always used is the corner stone of effective behaviour management. Without good manners you have nothing.
It’s very important that you tell the children what your expectations are – very regularly when you first start establishing your relationship and authority. This reinforces your standards and also offers an opportunity to acknowledge and praise – for listening well, for following your instructions and for adhering to your standards. Praise is enormously powerful, but remember without the necessary limits and boundaries in place you could be perceived as weak and a bit of a pushover. Effective behaviour management is a balance between high expectations, reassurance, reinforcement and praise. All are vital for a successful outcome.
The first indication of Jimmy’s opinion of himself came when we were walking down to the library. Remember, on that first visit he could have been described as ‘cocky’? He walked beautifully with the other children but was quick to point out that, ‘I’m not very good at reading’. So obviously any ‘cockiness’ is a bit of a bluff then?
Once he’d chosen a book (with discrete adult guidance), I asked him to read to me which he did willingly. At this point it had to be emphasised that he was a good reader – he had to know that I believed he had made a good start and I thought he was a clever boy who could do well. His reading skills were seriously lacking, but he had to have faith and confidence that he could catch up with his peers. Not false confidence but the knowledge that if he worked hard and tried his best then he would enjoy a sense of achievement.
I don’t believe children need to know at what level they are achieving – this means very little to young children – but they have to know that they are achieving and you are pleased with and appreciate the efforts they are making. A comment, ‘Wow, Jimmy, can you remember last week you couldn’t read that word, but now you recognise it straight away – that’s really good work, well done’, can make a child feel a million dollars. Any minor achievement deserves a positive comment to build confidence.
I also take opportunities to include other adults in reinforcing a child’s achievements. In Jimmy’s case, on day one such an opportunity arose early. Another member of staff came into our room to ask me something that involved me leaving the room for a few minutes and he was going to stay with the group while I was away.
So, I said, ‘Sir, I bet while I’m away you’d love Jimmy to read to you, wouldn’t you?’
To put my colleague in the picture, without actually spelling it out, I added, ‘You’ll never guess, sir, but Jimmy told me that he doesn’t think he’s a very good reader. I think you’ll agree that he’s doing really well.’
My colleague, ‘played the game’ brilliantly and said, ‘I’d certainly love to hear you read Jimmy, so let’s have a look at your book, shall we?’
My colleagues and I work so closely together that we each know what reaction to give by the tone of the questions asked. In this instance it was instantly recognised that Jimmy needed reassurance that he was doing well and his efforts were appreciated. If however I had said, for example, ‘Oh, sir, would you believe that Jimmy is refusing to do his work in maths,’ my colleague would have immediately known what reaction to give, in this case to say something like, ‘That’s hard to believe, Mrs Marsden, because you were only telling me yesterday how good Jimmy was at maths. Maybe today he’s not wanting to play out in with the others at break time. He can always come and sit with me and do his work unless he makes a start now.’
Invariably, the child recognises the united front of the adults and capitulates, even if it is with some reluctance. Then it’s important to acknowledge the effort they’re making as soon as they start to work. Ok, they shouldn’t have tried to refuse but many of these children have been using this ploy for years to avoid work – a simple problem has been allowed to become a major issue. Added to this you have a child missing out on their education and their confidence is in freefall. An awful, but completely avoidable situation.
Back to Jimmy.
Day one progressed well. On one occasion, during an inside breaktime, Jimmy went to the door to leave.
‘Jimmy, where are you going?’
‘To the toilet.’
‘Jimmy, you must ask before you leave the room.’
‘Please may I go to the toilet.’
At this time Jimmy was still at the door, with his hand on the handle. He was asked to come over and ask, taking him away from the door. He did this without a murmur, asked appropriately, and was allowed to go. Why did I expect him to leave the door and ask? Because, it is important that the child becomes accustomed to getting what they want in the correct way and to accept the response of the adult.
Although only a minor matter, it was promising that Jimmy was accepting the boundaries of behaviour so well. What a great start from a little boy who had found adhering to normal rules of behaviour so difficult previously. He went home a very happy little chap. So on to day 2… and a challenge…
Day 2
Jimmy came to class chirpy and upbeat, taking his place at the front of the class. Shortly after his arrival a member of staff came to the door and asked if she could have a quick word with me. She told me it had been reported that Jimmy had just behaved very badly in the car on the way to school – shouting and throwing himself around, demanding to know when he was going to get his breakfast! I was puzzled by this but was told that it had come to light that the people previously been in charge of Jimmy had provided him with food to placate him. Now he obviously considered this as his right and wasn’t hesitating to make his demands clear.
So, what do I do in this case?
I had to deal with this on two levels. Firstly, Jimmy’s behaviour in the car was totally unacceptable due to the danger aspect, plus he had to understand that such demands were not acceptable. The behaviour had to be challenged. This doesn’t involve shouting and yelling at a child, but does involve the use of assertive behaviour by the adult using words, tone of voice and body language effectively.
So how would Jimmy react to being confronted and challenged…?
Frankly, I didn’t know but had to be ready for pretty much anything – Jimmy, remember, had been physically and verbally abusive and violent to both adults and children. But, the bottom line was that Jimmy had to change his behaviour – he couldn’t be allowed to continue to behave so badly.
Jimmy, of course, wasn’t expecting to be confronted or challenged. In fact, because he hadn’t been effectively challenged previously, he probably interpreted this that there was nothing at all wrong with his behaviour. Why should he know he was doing anything unacceptable when nobody had told him? By doing nothing about the behaviour the adults were, in fact condoning and reinforcing the unacceptable. He didn’t stand a chance of changing unless he was taken to task.
I returned to the room and calmly sat down confident that I was in control of the situation.
I asked Jimmy, ‘Why have I just heard that you have been very badly behaved in the car on the way to school?’
Jimmy said nothing.
I continued…
‘You haven’t answered me Jimmy. What do you have to tell me about your behaviour in the car?’
I didn’t expect a response from Jimmy. He hasn’t the articulation or understanding to express why he behaved in such a way. But quite simply, he behaved like that because that was his habitual behaviour, brought into play instinctively when he wanted something his way and he felt he wasn’t on track to get it. Nobody stopped him, invariably the behaviour resulted in getting his way so he’d be pretty dumb not to continue along the same path. And Jimmy certainly isn’t dumb!! He’s as bright as a button…
But what was he going to do now – an adult actually telling him he’s out of order… Hmm – a new experience…
He didn’t do anything apart from looking at me with an amazed look on his face.
I continued, ‘And why are you asking Jane when you’re getting your breakfast? I know you have a good breakfast at home before you leave, so please don’t start demanding breakfast.’
Jimmy continued to watch me, but had obviously taken stock of the situation and decided discretion was the better part of valour and keeping quiet was probably advisable. This was a novel experience and some further analysis was in order!
What next?
Well, there had to be a consequence for his behaviour. It could have taken one of a number of forms – a letter of apology to Jane, loss of break time to copy out rules of good behaviour in the car – but on this occasion I had a perfect opportunity to demonstrate to Jimmy that his behaviour could cost him dearly.
Changing my voice a little I continued to talk to Jimmy, ‘Now, Jimmy, this morning’s behaviour leaves me with a problem.’ – (puzzled look from Jimmy) – ‘You see, I believe that some time today you are going to be invited to a rather enjoyable event, but unfortunately, whether you are able to go depends on you travelling in my car. At this moment I wouldn’t be prepared to take you to the end of the road in my car if this morning is an example of how you behave. So, you see, Jimmy, there may be a problem…’ My voice tailed off and I started talking to the other children about the lesson we were about to begin. Jimmy was totally confused, but got on with his work – what a good little guy he is!
So what was going to happen? Sorry, just like Jimmy, you’ll have to wait and see.
With the challenge carried out correctly, Jimmy did absolutely nothing - he simply accepted the adult’s authority and realised the game was up. My behaviour towards him throughout the lesson was completely normal – the expectation that he would continue with his work, ask for help when he needed to, do corrections if he’d gone wrong, etc. A normal little boy, totally at ease, accepting boundaries, and happily working within them.
What did I know that Jimmy didn’t? Well, of course, I knew that an invitation was imminent from his new school, and quite honestly the timing was perfect and for ever the opportunist I had to take advantage of this one to demonstrate to Jimmy that his behaviour could lead to consequences that he wouldn’t like.
The timing got even better. Just as we were about to finish the lesson, one of our office staff knocked on the door and said that there was a phone call for Jimmy. I expressed surprise (being a consummate actress is another of my talents!), and told Jimmy that he’d better go and see who wanted to talk to him. Off he went, excited and wondering who would be phoning him at school…
I don’t normally allow phone calls at school, it just doesn’t happen, but this one was pre-arranged and fitted my purpose wonderfully…
The other children left to go to break and I wandered casually into the office. Jimmy was just saying his goodbyes, and replaced the receiver.
‘Who was that Jimmy?’ I asked.
He was beside himself with excitement.
‘We’ve been invited to a party at my other school,’ he said excitedly.
‘Wow, that’s great, when is the party?
‘Friday.’
‘Well, that could be tomorrow Jimmy, or is it next week?’
‘Oh, I don’t know.’
‘No problem,’ I said, ‘I can soon check.’
‘Oh, I can’t wait, I’m excited,’ Jimmy told me.
‘It’s a lovely idea Jimmy, but we still have the problem. To go to the party you’ll have to go in my car, and as I said before, at the moment I wouldn’t take you away from the car park. So what can we do about our problem?’
Jimmy was speechless. The challenge was complete and he was faced with the consequences of his behaviour – no shouting or unpleasantness – but Jimmy was in no doubt that he was on the verge of having blown his chances of a very enjoyable event at his new school.
So what could he do?
His options were fairly limited.
Some children would ‘kick off’ at that point – their perception was that they’d blown it and the disappointment would be too much to cope with. They have to cope with this realisation and you can’t change your stance. It’s vital that you don’t succumb to feeling sorry for the child at this point, as this can lead to giving in to a child who is learning a very important lesson. It’s difficult, I acknowledge, but the learning process is vital.
Other children do as Jimmy did at this point. He became a typical little guy who promises anything to put things right.
‘I promise I’ll be good’, he said, realising that his longed for party could well be disappearing before his eyes.
Let him off the hook? Yes and no…..
‘Well, Jimmy, I’d really like you to go to the party, but you have to prove to me that you can be trusted in the car, and also continue to show me what a good boy you can be in class.’
I then made sure I told him that I knew this wouldn’t be a great problem for him and that I was sure he could manage to cope with the expectations.
‘I know that you can do it Jimmy, and I’ll give you reminders if you need them, but you must listen to what I say and do as you’re asked, ok?’
Ok? He’d have agreed to anything.
Although I’d told Jimmy what he had to do in order to go to the party, I knew that he would need ongoing reminders, reinforcement and reassurance. Even though it’s vital for children to know exactly what is expected of them, they can’t achieve these expectations without adult support. They need adults to be aware and ready to check behaviour that may lead to unacceptable behaviour. Until acceptable behaviour becomes automatic and second nature, they need adult checks and intervention.
I spoke to Jane later about what I’d said to Jimmy, so she could reinforce the expectations. She told me that Jimmy had arrived home very positive, and this shows that checking his behaviour had a positive outcome. Children happily accept being checked. It tells them that you care. They know where they stand, and they are relieved of the responsibility of having control of situations they are emotionally unable to deal with. Setting consistent boundaries and high expectations of behaviour offers children security and the knowledge that you care enough to check the unacceptable and give positive reinforcement of the acceptable.
So, does Jimmy get to his party? What do you think?
Liz Marsden @ Behaviour Bible