Hi there,
I really despair at times when I go to meetings and listen to other adults talking about their perception of managing kids’ behaviour! It’s quite unbelievable how far adults have relinquished their rights and responsiblities in checking, guiding and dealing with kids…
The over arching dirty word that describes this adult duty is ‘discipline’. I know it’s almost like uttering the worst profanity… it’s not nice, not politically correct, old fashioned.
Well sorry folks but adults have got to get their act together and start doing what they should be doing to make sure kids are secure in the knowledge of how their world and society works.
And guess what? Sometimes this involves issuing consequences for bad behaviour. That’s how the world works – or at least, that’s how it should work… And kids have to learn to accept this fact.
And another guess what? When adults do this ‘disciplining kids’ properly the result is confident, happy and relaxed individuals who can manage independently and successfully in society .
Those of you who now know me through my frequent rants will be wondering what’s happened now to instigate this latest rant… Well, of course you’re right… Let me tell you…
At a recent meeting colleagues from a senior school were present to discuss a child’s transfer into Year 7. This child obviously has had severe behaviour problems otherwise he wouldn’t have come into my orbit…
The child has improved massively, largely because the school are now managing his behaviour effectively and he’s got the message that his previous behaviour won’t be tolerated. And his attitude towards all this ‘discipline’? He’s fine – happy, relaxed and increasingly confident. The only remaining problem now is less structured time – playtimes outside, or the longer lunch break. But, he knows what’s expected, what he’s supposed to do and what the consequences will be if he doesn’t come up to the mark.
So, of course, senior school need to know this. And their reaction when told that if he misbehaved during breaks outside then there would have to be consequences?
‘Well, he could be sent to a designated room but I don’t think he would like it!’
Get the message… He’s not supposed to like it!! He’d be there because of bad behaviour so what is there to like??
How have people got the impression that consequences for bad behaviour should be in any way enjoyable? It’s total nonsense! No wonder things in the world of adults dealing with kids’ behaviour has gone so badly and disastrously wrong!
Rant nearly over! Seriously though, anyone can learn to manage kids’ behaviour effectively and confidently – and to issue consequences that will impact positively on behaviour. It’s not difficult – learn the techniques, practise them until they’re second nature and use them with total consistency! That’s it…
Thanks for reading. Liz Marsden @ Behaviour Bible.