So many people complain about kids’ bad behaviour.  They moan about it, complain about it and say they’re shocked…

But  the fact is that adults don’t really do shock when kids behave badly. Even when the behaviour is worse than just bad – appalling and even criminal…  Behaviour that is so awful that not that long ago would have adults reeling with shock. They’d have been rightly shocked and appalled.

What replaces ‘shocked and appalled’ these days then?

Adults’ reaction is pathetic really.  I see abject acceptance, lethargy and frequent shoulder shrugging in a, ‘What can I do about it?’ sort of way.

I’m often asked why kids behave so badly when they know the behaviour’s wrong!  Well many of them are just trying to find out how much you’ll put up with before you start putting limits and boundaries in place… Testing the boundaries? No, they’re looking for the boundaries…  Not much to test when the boundaries don’t exist is there?

Adults really have to get a grip and show a bit of grit and determination…

I had an amazingly shocking conversation with someone in a school a few months ago. This person is lovely, but like so many adults these days, totally wet. What’s wet? Well, nice but soppy, soft, lacking in oomph and energy. An unquestionning willingness to accept the totally unacceptable behaviour that’s frequently thrown at them.

I’m hedging my bets a bit here and not giving this ‘nice person’ a gender?  The many people I meet in my work are great, really pleasant and well meaning and I know that they want to do their best.

But, nice as these people are their idea of doing their best for kids isn’t good enough…

They need to toughen up and show that they’re shocked by appalling behaviour. They’re allowing kids to get away with totally appalling behaviour  and it’s gone on for too long and it’s time to take action…

I really don’t want to cause offence but on the other hand people have to be shaken out out of their lethargy and learned helplessness when dealing with children in their care…

The head teacher in question faced massive behaviour problems in the school – disrespect, aggression, violence, poor learning standards. And it was getting worse each day.

the head teacher admitted that he didn’t know what the answer was…

‘Well, showing a bit of shock wouldn’t go amiss,’ I said quite firmly.

How he responded astounded me!

He asked me at what point should he show that he was displeased!!

It’s not often that I’m speechless, but to not have a clue when to stop accepting bad behaviour is beyond comprehension… I think he should be off to look for alternative employment!!

Action has to be taken before this bad behaviour situation becomes totally lost!

Adults have to stop making excuses and allowing kids to behave so badly. And stop making excuses for adults doing nothing about kids behaving badly!

All adults from parents to those in all areas of authority have to take the blame for abandoning kids to bad behaviour. It’s every adults’ duty to guide, discipline and manage behaviour. So stop reneging on this responsibility by making excuses and doing nothing. It just won’t do!

Adults have to learn what to do to manage behaviour.  It’s really not difficult.  A bit of effort is involved but it’s something everyone can do…

What’s the alternative?  Admit that you can’t be bothered to summon the effort or that you have no substance or strength of character?

If that’s the case you don’t deserve to be working with kids. Sorry, but that’s the truth!

I can help you learn to manage behaviour with ease.  Just download your copy of Behaviour Bible and you’ll soon be on your way…

Cheers for now.   Liz Marsden @  Behaviour Bible.

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