Hi there…
Another day, another thought…
Have you ever noticed that kids that are supposed to have ADHD or some other ‘behaviour syndrome’ don’t have a problem with their behaviour when they’re doing something they want to do or they enjoy doing?
Think about it…
Everything is hunky dory and peaceful until some awful person – adult or child – questions or confronts their view of what should be done, how something should be done or when something should be done… And our little guy doesn’t want to do it that way…
It’s all goes swimmingly until they’re expected to share something, let someone else have a turn, stop doing something, start doing something – anything in fact that is expected of them and they don’t want to oblige!
‘He doesn’t want to write!’ So to avoid having to write he starts with low level ‘I don’t want to do it’ behaviour and if someone has the audacity to actually push the issue and expect him to do the writing he’ll explode into the biggest tantrum you’ve ever seen… Perfectly alright until he’s expected to do his writing…
‘He wants to continue to do his drawing and doesn’t want to do any work!’ Once again, off he goes, throwing his weight around simply because he doesn’t want to stop drawing… Pretty well behaved all the while he was doing his drawing, wasn’t he? Only went wrong when he wasn’t getting his own way…
‘He always wants to be the leader in games!’ And guess what happens when someone tells him that this time it’s someone else’s turn to be leader. You’re right – yet another tantrum… But guess what, if he’d been allowed to be game leader and everyone let him have his own way then he’d have been as happy as Larry – no problem at all…
Ok, if this ‘let him have his own way’ situation is allowed to continue then the child’s bad behaviour pretty quickly becomes a deep seated habit and needs a determined effort to rectify. But, believe me you don’t need to fill a kid full of drugs to put it right. Not that the kiddie drug culture has much of an impact on their behaviour…
One kid in my class had to have extra drugs before he can visit the consultant’s behaviour clinic because his behaviour when he attended previously had been so appalling. His behaviour in school, even when full of drugs, had been dreadful – violent, confrontational, foul and abusive… This little guy was in a terrible state – full of drugs and still behaving like a mini tyrant – totally out of control…
How is he now? He’s great – in his mainstream school too. So happy, working hard, always with a smile on his face! His confidence levels have increased enormously and he knows people like him. He’s a pleasure to have in class.
What changed? Pretty simple to answer… The way his behaviour was managed was what changed. Nothing drastic. Nothing draconian. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just simple, easy to follow behaviour management strategies that anyone can learn to use in a very short time – the strategies that you’ll read about in Behaviour Bible.
So ADHD or ‘I want my own way and will create havoc to get it…’? Worth a thought, isn’t it?
Cheers for now. Liz Marsden @ Behaviour Bible.